This time 4 years ago she had nearly been with us for 3 hours. I was recovering from my second c-section, totally out of it and I just wanted to sleep. I was pretty detached from her, my birth was not supposed to be like that so in that moment I didn't really care that I just had a baby. I just wanted to sleep. To go back a few days and do everything possible to get my vbac.
But I was 42 weeks pregnant, placenta was starting to fail and she was working too hard to get oxygen. So she had to be taken out. Add to the fact that she was my biggest baby (8 pound, 11.5 oz) and was still floating very high, with the risk of a cord accident - she was born in my least desired way. It took about 3 years before I didn't cry the night before her birthday, remembering her birth. This year I didn't cry, however I still get sad thinking about the whole experience. I'm still not sure why that is. Maybe I would have bonded better if I had a better birth?
I think there is something very special about my Coo girl, one night I had a terrible headache and she put her hands on my neck and I felt warmth spread all the way up my neck and into my head - and my headache went away. She's special, complicated, frustrating, loud, a clown, sometimes a bully - but we love her. And life wouldn't have been the same these last 4 years without her, that's for sure.
Happy birthday Coo.
(She looks very impressed with the $50 she received for her birthday from Aunty Norma and Uncle Philip doesn't she!)
Happy Birthday Kelti! And happy birthing day mumma. You did all you could hun, to do things the way you wanted. But you did what you had to to get her here safe and sound. Because you're a wonderful mum, and that is what mums do for their kids. Sacrifice for their children.
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