I've been thinking a lot about labels lately. I've described myself as "a little bit crunchy". A few months ago, I didn't even know what a "crunchy mum" was, I had to ask my friend. Apparently its those ones that have home births, breastfeed, co sleep, cloth nappying, babywearing, non vaxxing, you know - all those "hippy" types as my mother would say - at least that is a quick sum up of it.
However, in my musings over the past week - I'm really not "a little bit crunchy". On paper, yes, it appears this is the case. I basically had two homebirths. I breastfeed The Baby. I babywear - and own 3 different types of carriers. I haven't vaxxed my youngest. I co-sleep. I use cloth nappies.
If ever I was asked why I do these things - my answers certainly wouldn't match up to the normal "crunchy" type. I had 2 previous c-sections, one purely because I didn't want to ever go through labour. I have formula fed the 3 other children, its only the 4th one that its been successful with. I wear The Baby because she won't let me put her down to sleep during the day, and I have 3 other children to take care of. We haven't vaxxed The Baby because we haven't finished our research as to whether we want to or not. We vaxxed the first two, and delayed with Speedy. We co-sleep because Sparrow and Speedy creep in overnight at some ridiculous hour, and The Baby wakes up if we move her once asleep. So I keep her next to me. Cloth nappies? Disposables are expensive when you have 3 in nappies. Plus, it is less landfill and they are pretty cute.
So I'm changing my "label". I'm not "a little bit crunchy". For me, my new label will be "Whatever Works". All those things work for me. I'm a normal mum, doing Whatever Works for me. For my family. For our family happiness.
I hope people look past "labels" and see that every mother out there is doing whatever works for them, regardless of whether or not it would personally work for you. More acceptance and less judgement is pretty much all we are asking for. Actually, no - its what we deserve. Sometimes its worth pushing past those labels and getting to know the person underneath - because they could turn out to be a pretty awesome friend.
Can I be "Whatever works" with you? On paper I'm a little bit crunchy but I don't think I am
ReplyDeleteYup! Maybe we can start a Whatever Works Movement ;)
ReplyDeleteI think 'Whatever works' is a great philosophy to go by :)
ReplyDeleteWhatever works sounds like the best idea yet! Have been doing that for all 4 of my kids, changing bits here and there depending on the child and nope it doesn't 'fit in' with others ideals, but thats ok cause it's their ideals not mine ;)
ReplyDeleteI like it, that's going to be my new label too :)
ReplyDeleteMel so true! So many mums come into the shop distressed that they can't breastfeed, or want to wear their babies/cloth nappy but friends and family tell them it will be 'too hard'. My philosophy is exactly "whatever works". If you're happy, then baby will be happy.
ReplyDeleteTo be honest I am still so stunned at the amount of women who define themselves by what nappies their kid has on, whether their milk comes out of the breast or out of the tin, whether they sleep with their kids etc etc etc. Its not like their kids are going to grow up and go "I have had the best life because my mum let me sleep in her bed and put cloth on my arse'.. you could do all those things and be a parent that bashes your child. In 10...20 years time your kid won't remember that you put cloth on its bum or breastfed it till it was 5 it will remember the beatings... love the whatever works Mel, more people should live by that
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