So since I've been off Facebook, I'm reconnecting with my kids. And its great. You don't really realise how disconnected you become until you go offline and just spend time with your kids. They are such funny little things some times - my mother is right on that one. And I think they have been enjoying themselves more, I play more with them (blocks and trains today) and I read more books to them, I did some drawing and colouring in today with them as well, we tickled, sang, danced - my days seem fuller even though I'm not doing anything or going anywhere!
Today was a hard day for me though, I'm not sure why but I just felt so lonely and a bit down - I was missing my tassie friends terribly! They're not just friends to me, they are family, and its hard to be up here without them. These were people that I saw basically every day and I always felt comfortable just to rock up at their place without an invite and have a cup of tea. I don't really have that up here, well I don't feel that I can just do that any way - maybe I could, I dunno.
Anyway, beside today being hard emotionally for me, it was still a pretty good day. I only lost my shit once at Speedy today, and that was because she's so frustrating when she wants something, then doesn't want it when offered, then whinges because she doesn't have it, so then you offer it again, she refuses.. then whinges! FFS, just take the bloody jelly bean before I shove it up your bum! (I wouldn't really shove anything up her bum, its just an expression, no need to call child services just yet...)
So to only lose it once was pretty good, I'm getting better at communicating with the kids, and I think they are responding to me better - there is definitely more love being felt here, Sparrow is continually telling me that he loves me, and how beautiful I am - he's such a sweet boy (probably wanting something though, but I'll take what I can get from a nearly 6 year old boy!)
Tonight instead of being on my phone on Facebook, I fed Bubbles to sleep. I took notice of the little wispy bits of hair on the side of her head, and stroked the curls that are forming there. I took notice of her chubby little arms, her closed eyes, stroked her forehead.
I know this time isn't going to last forever, before I know it she will be my nearly 6 year old - so I think its worthwhile not being on the phone, taking in every moment, making the most of it while I can and while she gives me the chance to.
So here's to putting down the phone and just laying with our children and taking notice of them. Just them.