I hate to admit it, but I am absolutely, positively terrified of spiders. I'm the girl you would find on a chair in an office if one dropped on to the floor. Even if I think they are dead, I still don't want to get close to them, just in case they miraculously come back to life. By the way, my fear is not just limited to spiders, I hate snakes, cockroaches, cane toads (extreme fear this one) and mice. Basically anything that jumps or moves quickly, I hate it.
So tonight, after rocking The Baby to sleep, I started folding up my washing that was on the bed.
Picked up one of Coo's t-shirts, looked at The Baby, mused to myself how cute she was asleep, and then noticed the big friggin spider coming close to my hand. I did a silent "eeeeek" - couldn't wake The Baby - and threw it on the bed. Heart pounding now, I was at a loss what to do. Couldn't scream and get Elf Man's attention (even though it wouldn't have helped, he was in with Speedy getting her to sleep on the opposite side of the unit). So I picked up my phone (quickly because the spider was now in the washing basket and my phone was directly under it) and sent a text message to him.
Didn't hear his phone go off with the message tone so it mustn't of been switched on. Fuck. Spider now moving across basket towards the edge to go on bed, towards sleeping baby.
Racking my brains, I phoned the house phone. Sparrow answered. Told me that I couldn't speak to mummy or Daddy because they were in the bedrooms getting The Baby and Speedy to sleep. I told him that I WAS mummy - get daddy! He repeated that he couldn't get mummy on the phone, she was busy with The Baby. I said as sternly as I could "Sparrow - this IS mummy!!! GET DADDY. Go into the bedroom and get him to come to our bedroom, please".. Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.......
I heard him go into the hallway and into the other bedroom, meanwhile my spider is moving down onto the mattress. Complete freak out. I grabbed one of Elf Man's shirts and tried to flick him off the bed. Off went the shirt, on stayed the spider. Fuck!! Spider started moving towards baby, I'm standing in the corner paralysed by fear and waiting for Elf Man to get on the bloody phone. I heard Sparrow saying it was Kaleb on the phone or something - and then Elf Man answered. I'm not sure what he thought when he heard my voice trying to force out the words that I needed help. I should probably mention that Elf Man isn't great with spiders either and has a bit of a girly scream from time to time if they are of a fair size. Thankfully, he came to the rescue, fly swatter in hand.
Spider dead. Baby safe. I need a valium, and probably new undies.
I HATE SPIDERS.